Living with a chronic illness - dealing with feelings
Learning that you have a long-term (chronic) illness can bring up many different feelings.
Learn about common emotions you might have when you are diagnosed and live with a chronic illness. Learn how to support yourself and where to go for more support.
Getting Used to Chronic Illness
Examples of chronic illnesses are:
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Alzheimer disease
and
dementia
Alzheimer disease
Dementia is a loss of brain function that occurs with certain diseases. Alzheimer disease is one form of dementia. It affects memory, thinking, and...
Dementia
Dementia is a loss of brain function that occurs with certain diseases. It affects memory, thinking, language, judgment, and behavior.
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Arthritis
Arthritis
Arthritis is inflammation of one or more joints. A joint is the area where 2 bones meet. There are more than 100 different types of arthritis....
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Asthma
Asthma
Asthma is a disease that causes the airways of the lungs to swell and narrow. It leads to wheezing, shortness of breath, chest tightness, and coughi...
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Cancer
Cancer
Cancer is the uncontrolled growth of abnormal cells in the body. Cancerous cells are also called malignant cells.
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COPD
COPD
Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) is a common lung disease. Having COPD makes it hard to breathe. There are two main forms of COPD:Chroni...
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Crohn disease
Crohn disease
Crohn disease is a disease where parts of the digestive tract become inflamed. It most often involves the lower end of the small intestine and the be...
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Cystic fibrosis
Cystic fibrosis
Cystic fibrosis is a disease that causes thick, sticky mucus to build up in the lungs, digestive tract, and other areas of the body. It is one of th...
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Diabetes
Diabetes
Diabetes is a chronic disease in which the body cannot regulate the amount of sugar in the blood.
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Epilepsy
Epilepsy
Epilepsy is a brain disorder in which a person has repeated seizures over time. Seizures are episodes of uncontrolled and abnormal firing of brain c...
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Heart Disease
Heart Disease
Coronary heart disease is a narrowing of the small blood vessels that supply blood and oxygen to the heart. Coronary heart disease (CHD) is also cal...
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HIV/AIDS
HIV/AIDS
Human immunodeficiency virus (HIV) is the virus that causes AIDS. When a person becomes infected with HIV, the virus attacks and weakens the immune ...
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Multiple sclerosis
Multiple sclerosis
Multiple sclerosis is an autoimmune disease that affects the brain and spinal cord (central nervous system).
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Parkinson disease
Parkinson disease
Parkinson disease causes certain brain cells to die. These are the cells that help control movement and coordination. The disease leads to shaking ...
It can be a shock to learn you have a chronic illness. You may ask "why me?" or "where did it come from?"
- Sometimes nothing can explain why you got the illness.
- The illness may run in your family.
- You may have been exposed to something that caused the illness.
As you learn more about your illness and how to take care of yourself, your feelings may change. Fear or shock may give way to:
- Anger because you have the illness
- Sadness or depression because you may not be able to live the way you used to
- Confusion or stress about how to take care of yourself
Your Image of Yourself May Change
You may feel like you are not a whole person anymore. You might be embarrassed or ashamed that you have an illness. Know that, with time, your illness will become part of you and you will have a new normal.
You will learn to live with your illness. You will get used to your new normal. For example:
- A person with diabetes may need to learn to test their blood sugar and give insulin several times a day. This becomes their new normal.
- A person with asthma may need to carry an inhaler and avoid things that may cause an asthma attack. This is their new normal.
Expect to Feel Overwhelmed
You may be overwhelmed by:
- How much there is to learn.
- What lifestyle changes you need to make. For example, you may be trying to change your diet, quit smoking, and exercise.
Be Gentle with Yourself
Over time, you'll adapt to living with your illness.
- Know that you will adapt over time. You will feel like yourself again as you learn how to fit your illness into your life.
- Know that what may be confusing at first starts to make sense. Give yourself time to learn how to take care of your illness.
Feelings and Emotions Over Time
It takes a lot of energy to manage your chronic illness every day. Sometimes, this can affect your outlook and mood. Sometimes you may feel very alone. This is especially true during times when your illness is harder to manage.
You may sometimes have the feelings you had when you first got the illness:
- Depressed that you have the illness. It feels like life will never be OK again.
- Angry. It still seems unfair that you have the illness.
- Afraid that you will become very ill over time.
These kinds of feelings are normal.
Stress can make it harder for you to take care of your chronic illness. You can learn to cope with stress to help you manage day to day.
Find ways to decrease stress that work for you. Here are some ideas:
- Go for a walk.
- Read a book or watch a movie.
- Try yoga, tai chi, or meditation.
- Take an art class, play an instrument, or listen to music.
- Call or spend time with a friend.
Finding healthy, fun ways to cope with stress helps many people. If your stress lasts, talking with a therapist might help you deal with the many feelings that come up. Ask your health care provider for help finding a therapist.
Learn More about Your Illness
Know more about your illness so you can manage it and feel better about it.
- Learn how to live with your chronic illness. At first it might seem like it is controlling you, but the more you learn and can do for yourself, the more normal and in control you will feel.
- Find information on the Internet, at a library, and from social networks, support groups, national organizations, and local hospitals.
- Ask your provider for websites you can trust. Not all the information you find online is from reliable sources.
References
American Psychological Association. Coping with a diagnosis of chronic illness. Updated August 2013. www.apa.org/helpcenter/chronic-illness.aspx . Accessed November 3, 2016.
Larsen PD. Psychosocial adjustment. In: Larsen PD, ed. Lubkin's Chronic Illness: Impact and Intervention . 9th ed. Burlington, MA: Jones and Bartlett Learning; 2016:chap 3.
Wagner EH. Comprehensive chronic disease management. In: Goldman L, Schafer AI, eds. Goldman's Cecil Medicine . 25th ed. Philadelphia, PA: Elsevier Saunders; 2016:chap 13.
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Stress
(In-Depth)
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Rheumatoid arthritis
(In-Depth)
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Schizophrenia
(In-Depth)
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Multiple sclerosis
(In-Depth)
Review Date: 9/3/2016
Reviewed By: Linda J. Vorvick, MD, Clinical Associate Professor, Department of Family Medicine, UW Medicine, School of Medicine, University of Washington, Seattle, WA. Also reviewed by David Zieve, MD, MHA, Isla Ogilvie, PhD, and the A.D.A.M. Editorial team.